If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
