im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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