If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its not stalking. its research.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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