That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
