me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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