How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
