he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
