he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
