im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
