So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
birth control should be required to get into college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your cock deserves a montage
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize