Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
