My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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