I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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