just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
