Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
