She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
