I smell stomach acid.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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