I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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