What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
