OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
