Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
