i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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