also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
