You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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