U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
