left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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