with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You have to summon your inner elephant
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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