i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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