Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
