so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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