Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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