I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
