yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
