my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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