Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
