At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
A+ Viking dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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