Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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