Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
