Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize