He is an equal opportunity slut.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
