I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i would punch a child for taco bell
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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