there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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