Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
