Having a random hookup so left but love u
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
