Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize