Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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