I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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