thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your penis caused this!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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