She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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