I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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