Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize