I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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