I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
