Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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