Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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