i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
