did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
