It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
