i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
