Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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