I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
