she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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