oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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